I'd rather be blunt than sneaky

My husband Jim and I get criticized by 'family' members for being rather blunt with our children. We both have a warped sense of humor, and we have passed it down to all three kids; the neurotypical as well as the ones on the spectrum. Contrary to popular belief, those on the spectrum are capable of understanding sarcasm and humor. I think our bluntness is partially due to our love for all heavy metal music. Let's face it; heavy metal is brutal and in your face...a music not for pansies. If we like our music like this, why not live our lives that way as well? Metalheads know this well \m/.

Most family functions we are forced to attend are riddled with disapproving looks from people when our children come out with their brand of humor, that is probably not appropriate on certain occasions. But, if we are in the safety of our own home, I would prefer that they feel comfortable enough to be themselves...whether it's appropriate or not! As long as they know to be appropriate outside the home, that's fine. For the most part, they know there's a time and place for certain things.

It got me thinking about my own childhood. My father was a sneaky son of a bitch. He was always pulling crap on us and proud of himself when he was successful at fooling his kids. It was a sick thing he did.

Back in the day when you had to go to a video store to rent movies to watch at home (perish the thought now), my father took advantage of a 5 movies for 5 days for $5. He came home with a movie called "Not My Kid". Immediately, I knew what kind of movie this was. It was a TV movie about teens and the dangers of drug addiction. I expressed this to my father, who lied right to my face and said it was a comedy film. I kept arguing, but he ignored me. At the time, I did not see the stupid smirk on his face. He made us watch this movie, which was just so cheesy. It's not that it was a bad movie...I just didn't like being lied to. Later on, he admitted that he rented it to teach us about drugs. Why not just be honest in the first place?

Years later, I had to pick a Confirmation sponsor. My parents were not social people, so we did not have close friends for me to choose from. I asked to reach out to my Godparents in hopes they would say yes. I was told that they refused. Instead, my father lied again and said that some random guy he happened to have three or four conversations with at church offered to be my sponsor. He gave me this guy's phone number at work and sat with me while I called this guy up to ask him to be my sponsor. Thankfully, he said yes, but it was awkward for me. Many years later, he actually admitted that he just said it so I would call this guy. What the f&ck??????

And many years later than that, my wedding. Ah...yes. I asked over and over for names and addresses for my wedding only to be told that he would personally address the invitations and add a note or two in addition. I cringed, but I obliged. Needless to say, we had no one on my side of the church during my wedding.

So yeah...we're blunt and honest with our kids. So what? I'd rather be open and honest than sneaky and conniving and have them hate me.