To start off with, my uncle's mother passed away in January. I didn't know her well, but I liked her a lot. She seemed like a fiery young lady of 82 that I could only hope for at her age. Shortly after, my mother came to visit us from California. We discussed Dorothy's passing, and my mother felt I should take the kids to her funeral. I didn't think it was a good idea. I wasn't sure just how the boys would handle death, especially of someone they met twice or three times in their lives. Harley is hard to read. She understands more than she lets on, but I considered her feelings as well.
About a week after my mother and my disagreement on how to handle the situation, I get a call at 1am from Mom's boyfriend that she had a heart attack and fell at work and was in a coma. Not something I expected. Not something I wanted to hear. Within the last four or five years, I reconnected with her for many reasons; mainly, the fact that my children wanted answers that I didn't have. "Dad has a mother that visits, so what about yours, Mom?"
My relationship with my mother was complicated, to say the least. I was filled with a lot of anger and hate for so long. As a Catholic, I felt it was time to forgive. As a mother, I needed to cast aside my feelings and move ahead as an example to my three babies....especially my boys. Empathy and forgiveness are abstract things and is difficult for them to understand. I guess I felt if I could show by example, they would get it.
Sadly, Mom passed away about three weeks ago after being comatose for two and a half months. It's not been an easy time for any of us. My kids know I'm hurting, but I cannot explain to them why. I'm not just sad to see that Mom is gone. I'm upset that the answers I hoped to get, I never did...and now, I never will. But maybe no news is good news?
And so it continues...
My husband Jimmy has cancer. We haven't discussed the severity of the situation with Jesse. He's far too young to understand. It's hard to read Kelly's feelings, but I'm sure he's feeling it, and just doesn't know how to express it. Both boys have been acting out in school, so we know it's affecting them severely. I just wish they could express their feelings in words or some other way so we can work through these feelings. Our neurotypical lady knows far too much for her age. That kind of works to our advantage, though. Not a lot of explaining, but we do give her as much support as we possibly can.
Lord, help us through this mess. We will come out stronger.
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