Back about 10 years ago, I was distraught over a comment that our school psychologist made about my situation at the time. You see, my husband was working and I was home with the kids; Kelly, 3, Harley, 17 months, and Jesse, newborn. Kelly was enrolled in the local school Pre-kindergarten program as a way to get him acclimated with the anticipated future at this particular school system. It was a half day program and I believed it was good for him to have a few hours with kids his own age.
Mind you, this was a very stressful time for all of us. The day I brought Jesse home, the twin towers were hit. At the time, I was very confused that this could happen. I just had a baby. This kind of tragedy does not happen, especially while I'm nursing my newborn son. It was a hard concept to grasp.
Anyways, this was the time when Kelly began to exhibit some not-so-great behaviors that were red flags. Some of the 'bad' things (the teacher's word, not mine) were silly - the fact that he wrote on his name plate on his desk, which was paper, was just ridiculous to get upset over. But things like running out of the school were major. No question there.
The very first meeting that was held, my husband attended without me. The school psychologist kind of tricked him into admitting some things that were not true. Yes, I was having some post-partum issues, but I was capable of handling myself. I had a job to raise these kids, and I set out to do the best I could. He made it sound as if I was ready to bust at any time.
The phone call I received the next day was from the psychologist. She was asking some extremely personal questions about me. I didn't want to answer her, and I knew how to answer by not answering...yes, I know that sounds weird, but in all my experience with 'experts', I knew the drill and how to get around their bullshit assumptions and shut them up in the process.
I will never forget what she said to me...."You alone with three kids all day is a recipe for disaster." Those words almost killed me. Seriously. I was doing just fine. The kids needed things, I took care of it. When she asked how I handle the situations where all three kids needed me, I could not answer her. She claimed to be confused. I told her in all honesty, that I am able to quickly access what needs to be done immediately and work my way from there, and the fact that my children were pretty patient if I was busy with Jesse and couldn't jump to their demands. In fact, they were extremely helpful and began to do more for themselves and each other. Bless them.
This, was her recipe for disaster? I say BULL! She was looking for something that wasn't there and ended up bringing the state into my home to 'teach' me to mother. What a load of crap.
Fast forward 9 1/2 years later....the meeting yesterday.
Just when I was able to get over that little comment she made many moons ago, she just proves that she does not deserve my forgiveness.
We have moved Kelly to a more appropriate educational setting, and in the process, we meet with the teachers and counselor and they explain the way things work. Great! Sounds perfect for him! I am confident he will succeed.
During this meeting, I was in the midst of answering questions and the psychologist interrupts me. I turned to my husband and said, "Not like I was f*cking talking or anything." The rest of the meeting, I refused to acknowledge the 'psychologist'. And then, to add insult to injury, as I'm being enlightened on some programs for my boys, 'psychologist' says that I've been told of this before and it 'doesn't seem like I want any help'.
Hmmm....she's so intuitive.
If she was paying attention, the fact that for a long time, I worked nights...when meetings took place. And when I was able to work day hours, the fact that it took HOURS for Kelly to finish homework over the last 'x' amount of years and the fact that we do have three kids and a house to run did not leave time to drop everything to sit in a meeting and cry about my situation. And the fact that the price of gas has skyrocketed and the place for these meetings are out of the way to kind of get up and go. I don't make $50,000 a year like this bit....excuse me....person.
Not that I don't want to interact with parents in similar situation...time is a factor that I don't have, and the money thing...I just don't have the time. And I'm not crying about my situation. It is what it is. I've accepted it, and I am learning as I go. This 'psychologist' needs to keep her thoughts to herself.
So the question is....do I write to her and her bosses to explain my feelings or let it go? I still kick myself everytime I think about the fact that I didn't tell anyone about her first comment.
On the plus side, I know Kelly will succeed. The teacher I spoke with was amazing and understanding and the counselor was also just the sweetest thing. At least something great was accomplished.
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